Love/Hate Songs

I live out my [love]life in song. I hum, sing, belt, and sort out my feelings to music. An actual relationship can spark and inspire a whole range of representative songs, after all, to go with a whole gambit of emotions-- there are ups, downs, incredible highs, and, unfortunately, lows. I have a song for everything (and plenty more left over-- after all, I couldn't possibly give up all sobsongs just because I'm happy, and vice versa).

But when a relationship (friendship or otherwise) has come to a crossroads-- because of distance, because of circumstances, because of fundamental differences, or even because of betrayal-- there is usually just one song.

Some are negative-positive, songs of empowerment that remind me of the pain of yesterday and the promise of tomorrow. Demi Lovato's "Skyscraper" reminds me, constantly, that the only way to go is up; "Take a Bow" is a reminder not to fall for charm and words alone. Some are fun-negative; one ex-boyfriend always reminds me of Toby Keith's irreverent "I Wanna Talk About Me." And some are bittersweet, or even just sweet, like 楊丞琳 Rainie Yang's 匿名的好友 [Anonymous Friend].

I've found Your song, yours and mine. It says everything neither of us has ever, in the years we've known each other, been brave enough to say, but even in that, it's Us. It's of missed opportunities, serendipity, and of love that can and will never, ever be. And, most of all, it's about trying to move on... 

許仁杰 Stanly Hsu RenJie - 忘了說愛你 [Wang Le Shuo Ai Ni] [Forgot To Say I Love You]
Translation Credit: tammiest@AsianFanatics
Do NOT post elsewhere without proper credit.

只想要對妳好 不想說愛妳
I only want to treat you well, I don't want to tell you that I love you
原來我們還有 這麼多默契
It turns out that we have So much chemistry, so much tacit understanding
就讓我對妳好 讓他說愛妳

So let me treat you well, And let him tell you that he loves you
也許得不到的 才算是愛情

Perhaps, what I can't have Is what's really considered love

當妳不開的心 都丟到我心裡
When you throw all your worries, all your problems Into my heart
還有什麼愛人能 比我們這對朋友 更親密
How could any pair of lovers Be any closer Than the two of us?

Everything and Nothing

It's all the "nothings" that tell you "everything" about someone.

And when you strip "everything" away, sometimes all you're left with is precisely that: "nothing."

Relationships-- romantic, familial, or the ones between friends-- are based on implicit "deals" and exchanges between people. I'll cook dinner if you wash the dishes. We can watch the baseball game tonight if you indulge my love for Katherine Heigl movies tomorrow. I need a shoulder to cry on today, and I promise to be there for you when you need it next. You trust me, and I want to keep that trust. And I will trust you in return.

But relationships-- again, of any kind-- fail all the time. And when they do, it's almost certainly because someone thinks they're getting a "bad" deal. No one can go on giving "everything" for "nothing" in return, and anyone who believes they deserve "everything" for whatever reason but most especially for no reason at all and "nothing" from them back-- well, eventually, people catch on and things catch up.

And then there is nothing.